Thursday, March 1, 2012

Time for the Blind Eye and the Deaf Ear

I am sensitive by nature, and can take comments about my private life, nature and bodily imperfections to the heart. You can owe it to my Cancerian traits and really, I am not proud of it people. So, I make friends very carefully, but when I do, I consider them to be my best buddies, and expect them to understand how I am and be a little considerate. But still, somehow, they never fail to hurt time and again.

After a LOT OF mulling, I now happen to know, how have I turned into a friend, with whom you can easily get away with it. How have I turned into the one who bears the brunt of the fight always. How have I become what I am now, sorry and sad to have let them hurt me.
It is because
I am short tempered; I get angry fast but calm faster, so they don't take my anger seriously.
I forget about old fights and if there is a fight, I take the initiative to sort things out, so that they become normal.
I don't lead a NORMAL life like other Married girls, so I crib sometimes about things which matter to me, since it is only fair considering how much more I have sacrificed. And I crib, only when they ask me, not for them to label me as 'not a nice girl'!
I am the friend, who you can turn to, when there is no one else, and I would still accept you with open arms.
I am the friend, who jokes around a lot and hence not taken seriously.

This is not a self-sympathy post and I don't feel ashamed of writing it. It is an ANGER RANT, again triggered by a hurtful comment!

Anger because even after all these continuous comments, I had some faith, but it was still told to me again!
But somehow now, I cannot see myself forgetting such incidents anymore. I have tried a lot to look past them and value the friendship more. But this disrespect cannot be tolerated any further. 

Because, friendship is a scared, intimate and a close relationship, which has to be MUTUALLY sustained. I am now weak with the stress and pressure of holding it together, when they repeatedly break the bond leaving me battered. If it doesn't mean so much to them, then what am I doing with it, being all bruised!!

I don’t think I have the strength to cut them of my life. I don’t think I am so evil to ignore them in their sorrow, and not rejoice in their joys. It may also be my limitation to not able to endure any more of this. It may also be my limitation of not having more tolerance or for being so sensitive.

But this is the limit. I now know, I have to and I have the tenacity to shove aside this muck. I have seen worse and this is a mere glitch, and the only thought which is bouncing off my head is 'get past this', 'get past this' 'Ignore' 'Ignore'.

The rant is on the blog because I had to get it out somewhere and not onto someone, to save the sarcasm 'of not being a nice girl' for this crib, from a friend again! They will Judge me still, but this time I will choose to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to them!

19 comments:

  1. First of all this is not cribbing at all. And remember ignoring is the best thing you can do. Who else than you can have a right to decide how you are. So if you know how you are then these things should be ignored always. And when you ignored it then you would feel it was not for you :)

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    1. Agree, ignorance is bliss sometimes. Thanks!

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  2. Hey . Do not look at stupid people !! The world is a crazy place .

    And Ranting is always better than keeping it within yourself and mulling over it :)

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    1. Yes, felt better after putting it on paper! Thanks!

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  3. I've faced similar situations because of the same reasons you had faced them. Beyond a point Jenny, if people are not considerate , or if they do not take you seriously and take you for granted, its best to turn away, before getting hurt. They do not deserve nice people, nice friends like you!

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    1. I have ignored people before, but when it your friends do that, its tough. Nevertheless that is the only solution. Thanks!

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  4. Firstly, you got some great qualities which are rare to find these days. I can relate to some as I also follow some things.

    We humans suck, sorry but had to say it. We always take others for granted. But the most important thing is that, if by chance your friedship breaks with any of them (hope it doesn't happen) for any reason, then they lose more than what you may lose. As they say, a value of something is realised only when you lose it...:)

    I recently broke up with a good friend of mine, almost a decade old friendship for some silly reason. She broke the friendship, but its ok can't help. I forgive her and that's it. I tried to revive it, but invain. No hard feelings, accept it and move on. There are others who are there for you...:) God bless.

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    1. I still don't understand how people can just walk away from relationships which are running so long, for silly reasons! Right, moving on. Its time to do that! Thanks Prashant!

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  5. Jenny... You are much and very much valued my dear. I read your post and its good that u took it all out here. People will value you. They are too naive to comprehend their loss. I agree with prashanth when he says that they who lose u will be at a greater loss. You are not at all weak as to forgive and forget is the attribute of aperson with real strength.
    God Bless You my dear.

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    1. Thanks Aditi, me too glad that, I put it on here, feel good now! Thanks again!

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  6. I hope you feel better!

    http://pinkchampagnefashion.blogspot.com/

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  7. My husband has a very interesting statement he makes- he says "You cannot keep the dogs from barking"- inotherwords, there are some people who will just keep on 'barking' no matter what you do- and so you must ignore them. It is sad that this is true- it is sad that people are insensitive and they don't understand or realize who is their true friends- and who they need to support instead of tear down.

    Keep your chin up!!

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    1. Your comment and your husband's words are very motivating and positive! Thanks Connie!

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  8. Well, you should always forgive but never forget. Not because of some negative things but because each fight teaches you a worldly lesson. Though, I think we should not think about people a lot including friends. We all are humans and we have our own rationalities which may be acceptable or not.

    Be what you are and do what you feel is right :)

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    1. Agreed, moving along, if we learn something valuable, then nothing like it!
      I have learnt it the hard way, making friends for me is going to get even tougher. Thansk for the comment.

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  9. dil pe mat le yaar :)
    tension bodchi Jenny you are a lovely person (judging from your blog) and yes it does happen that such people are the ones who get taken for granted the most
    and don't worry about ranting out on the blog - it is your space, where you can let your heart and mind be - free.

    smile on :)

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    1. :-)) Your comment made me smile. tension seriously bodchi yaar. ithe mast anndah!!

      Oh yes, about my space, I had added that line in the post.. but then I removed it. Can't figure out why ?

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  10. yes jenny how true. i agree with all the comments posted. throw away that pal who fails to recognise your importance.

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