Monday, April 2, 2012

Gyan by the awesome twosomething

Hello everybody. I am Ananya. I am Jenny's friend, Ashvini's cute little niece.

I have just turned two, and on the insistence of my pretty Jenny Aunt(ahem, I was forced to use this word),
I am sharing my various anecdotes which even grown ups can use to get things done their way!
So here we go, Lessons from the two year old :

1. How to ensure, everyone is up when you can't sleep anymore, after 6 AM.
- Start shouting 'nahi nahi' at the top of your voice. The half dead brain of those asleep, will immediately activate to figure out the mind numbing question, for which the answer is a NO at the highest decibel possible.

2. How to embarrass your aunt, when she doesn't let you stay outdoors for a long period of time.
- Eat the banana, and when the aunt suggests to offer the banana skin to the always chewing cow outside, offer it to the sage who is chewing tobacco downstairs. Added benefits, address him as 'Hamma(means cow)', especially when you are atop in your aunt's hands.

Hamma!
3. How to improve your Rashtra basha vocabulary, when everyone else is trying to teach you Marathi.
- Insist on putting the Hindi Music channels only to watch Katrina and Malaika 'mausi'. Pay special attention to the words like 'jawani', 'badan' ,'Saala' and 'badnaam' and only use it when all the other aunts and dadajis visit your house.

4. How to make people to agree to things they don't see.
- While playing, always go under cars and repeatedly call out for the 'mau'(cat), even if you know there isn't one. If people ask where it is? Always move your hand in random direction and say 'He bagh'(see there)
Call out, until people come there behind you and agree about the cat's existence and join you in the calling.
And when you are satisfied, come out from under the car and walk away smirking, while they are still there.

5. How to practice for item numbers.
- Cry at the top of your voice, after you have taken your bath, and mom is running to you, with hands loaded with clothes. Stay rigid, and keep the tears coming, until she just leaves you in the chaddi. You can then stop crying and practice the dance moves, learnt last night.

6. How to get the jelly chocolates, hidden in the fridge.
- Sulk and not open your mouth for any other kind of food content. When repeatedly asked the problem, blink your eyes, pout your lips and in a soft voice ask for 'chocki'. Ensure, you have your food asap once you have a chocki, so that the plan is successful the next day as well.


Wont you give me a chocki :-(

7. How to make sure you get people to take you out (Bhurr).
- From the time you are up, make the declaration that 'I am going Bhurr'. Once the declaration has been noted by everybody in the house, look out for probable candidates. Father and Granny are not on the highest priority. Father not, since he is always off to work and granny not, since she would not be able to lift you up as and when required. Pester aunt and mother with continuous 'Jayache na...jayache na?' (We are going na?) so finally they get frustrated and take you out.

If at all people turn back to go back into the house, restart the full proof Nahi Nahi (refer point 1) to get appropriate results. You will surely not be disappointed.

On rare occasions the below promises are helpful like , 'I will walk all the way'
But need not worry my friends, after sufficient distance where the adult finds returning back fruitless, immediately order the person to pick you up (ucchun ge)!



I aint naughty :-P
 8. How to be prepared always.
- If the aunt utters the beautiful words 'What do want sweet heart?', Make sure you have a list ready. The list should cover all areas such as Massa (fish),mau (cat), bakaewadi, aamba barfi,chocki and khau.

9. How to show people you are omnipresent.
- If someone is talking on phone, irritate them with continuous 'bolaychay, bolaychay (I want to speak mantra) and when they give you phone in your hand promptly press some random button to either cut it or put it on hold. If they put you on speaker, don't talk to show your anger, until the head set mode is switched on again.

So there, hope that helps. If not, please don't hesitate to call me guys. I, as you already know, always want to 'bolaychy, bolaychay'. Till then stay cute(like me ) :-P

44 comments:

  1. oooooooooo.........so cute - she and her antics :))) Jenny aunty

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    1. She is a doll! oh yes I am an aunty now :-|

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  2. hahahaha......my jigar ka tukda :)

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  3. HAHAHAHAHAH .... Amazinggggggggggg !
    I daresay you are in for some adventure :D

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  4. AWWWWWWWWWWWW!! Such a cutie pie!!! :)

    Jenny Aunty ji...You are having quiet a blast with this adorable young lass! :D

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    1. Isn't she? Always so much fun around kids!

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  5. That was very cute:) Jenny, for sure having loads of fun!

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    1. She is indeed a lot of fun Rahul ji!

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  6. Awesome post Jenny! You have very aptly described every single 2 year old. Plus you can't really get angry on them with their 'you-cant-scold-me-cause-i-am-so-cute' face!
    And I just love her 3rd pic, looks like an angel :)

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    1. Oh yes! her mom is waiting for her to grow up. She would atleast then understand that she is being yelled at , teehee.

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  7. cutiee dolls,, i love kids and their naughtiness too much..

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    1. Seriously, kids are dolls. So innocent and so pure!

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  8. awww shez choooo chweet <3 <3 <3 I love the 5th mantra very much.. thank you jenny aunty for posting this :) :)

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    1. Thank you Suku :-)) an Aunty now :-|

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  9. God bless the little one :) no she is not naughty she is just fine :) he heh

    Bikram's

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    1. I agree! She is 'just normal ' :-))

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  11. He he ... very cute and I am damn sure this is generic for 2 year old girl .. they are too clever .. ain't they? But I must say they are equally innocent and adorable :)

    Nicely captured Aunty ji

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    1. aunty ji ? really ? now i think you are going to be dead by the time i get back to pune .

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  12. wow from the family that brought up ashvini comes a person so not ashvini-ish :). brlliant write up. jenny you are taking on the blogging world now . kudos

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  13. ROFL Awesome awesome lovely I want more such lessons to be taught :) Jenny aunty...
    Loved the chocki getting trick and learning item dancing lol :D awesome !!!!

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    1. teehee Thanks so much Ramya. Your comment is so adorable just like her :-)

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  14. haha...shez so cute:)...super duper awesome:)

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  15. She is so cute. Loved this post :).

    Follow back .

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    1. Thank you so much for visiting :-)) would come by your blog

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  16. Awww..she is adorable-gone on her aunt, this smart cookie!
    She reminds me of my own Seeya-these tiny thingies called toddlers of modern times are way smarter than what we were in our teens!

    And chocki sounds so cute...also loved all the totli baatein that you translated for us :-)
    God bless her and you-both deserve each other :-)

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    1. To tell you honestly Suruchi, you post on Seeya(when she turned two) inspired this post. Ananya just turned two 2 weeks back :-))
      And I agree, All of them Seeya, Ananya are angels, dolls but intelligent ones. I wish they would never grow up ! Thank for the comment :-)

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  17. And guess who her biggest fan is? Her Aunt Jenny :p

    This was such a delightful read! I just couldn't stop chuckling.

    Btw your adorable moppet has quite a sense of humor - imagine offering banana peel to a "sadhu" and insist on calling him a cow? LMAO

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    1. Thank you Purba :-)

      Oh I did forget to mention, she even pointed and yelled at the Sadhu, to ensure he looks back at us :-|

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  18. Kids are way too intelligent and smart these days. Enjoyed and loved reading it!

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    1. Oh yes they are. Way ahead of what we were thier age!

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  19. A message for kinds, from a cute kid :-) And just as Saru said, These days kids are so intelligent and witty :-)

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    1. I totally agree! And yes she is totally cute :-))

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    2. Ananya, you are an amazing kid...cute yet naughty, innocent yet smart...

      I see you as a great writer, story teller some day.

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    3. :-)) Thank you Alka :-))) Ananya, would thank you personally in 10 years time :-)

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  20. Love the post,,, intelligent and witty and captivating :)

    love ure eloquent writing style, and its always fun to read.

    http://styledestino.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much for your warm comments, and thanks for the visit :-) Would come by your blog.

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