Thursday, May 17, 2012

And we call ourselves educated?

Imagine you are a single woman. Now imagine that you have just got promoted. You would be ecstatic and overjoyed, isn't it? Proud and happy, you would accept the wishes from your colleagues and chums. Throw parties for your buddies. Get ready to walk into the new role you have been offered. And then, just like that, out of the blue, silly and cynical trash will be gathered and thrown right at your face. The trash would be so filthy and nasty, that it would take you some time to think about the source of it, and how people would be so gross to stoop to those levels.

A very close friend of mine got promoted and became a manager. When I shared this news with a friend, instead of being happy for her, he acted shocked and bombarded me with silly inane questions. He rambled on for 10 minutes, telling me how in the world would she never find a guy now? Doesn't she realize all the managers are already married, have kids or are going to be married! What, is she going to marry a fresher now and support him. Her parents must be so worried. Its time she stops concentrating on her work, and look for suitable guys now. And when she does, she better set aside the salary criteria along with the age criteria too. God, promoted again!

Too shocked to respond to it, I simply changed the topic and talked about other things. Thankfully he stopped his babble and choose to answer my questions. After exactly 1 minute I disconnected the phone. But his words still stung. The whole day I kept my thoughts and anger bottled up, but vented out as soon as I saw hubby dearest. The friend was close to both of us, and his regressive attitude towards single women shocked us. He himself had got promoted today. Would he have taken such negative comments in the same light as he made them for an other person. How easy it is to judge and talk and insult. He has more years of experience than my close friend, and by that, he had ought to be more practical and SENSIBLE. In spite of living in a city like Pune, where people boast of being modern and forward, in spite of holding an engineering degree and in-spite of working in a MNC which gives you a chance to travel abroad and see the world, he choose to take the small route and comment in such a unsettling way about her.

We still don't know if he meant well for her, that she settles down soon, or was he being just plain spiteful? But whatever it was, it didn't go down well with me. Hubby tried to pacify me, but I was not to be. The only regret I didn't stop him when I should have.

We call ourselves forward and educated, but we as a country are still not prepared for single successful women. Such deep rooted prehistoric notions will take ages to get uprooted. And until then times are indeed difficult for the single girls out there. These comments are going to be lashed onto them time and again.

My advice to you girls out there: Ignorance is bliss. You go girl.
My advise to the scornful 'educated' lot out there: Grapes are sour empty head. Appreciate what you can, else mind your damn own silly business.

PS: I got promoted too, but was saved the brunt. Ask me why? Because I seemed to have the 'multi action power' of the gold thread with the scared black beads!! Bah, how cheeky are we! Grow up guys!

44 comments:

  1. It is very sad when we hear people are still living in the dark ages!! We should be applauding across the board when someone is promoted or blessed!!

    Sad!!!

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    1. True Connie. This comment was truly disrespectful

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  2. Hey Congratulations on your and your close friends Promotion.
    And ah!!! This can be one of the topic in Satyameva Jayathe !!! Yes surprisingly well Educated, city dwelt and world touring men are not open minded!!! Not sure when this is going to change!

    As you said Give damn for all these Sh*tty mannered people and keep going no one or nothing can stop you!!!

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    1. Thanks soooo much Ramya :-) Well a topic in SMY, hmm should forward this to Aamir na!!! and yo are right, damn with these people.

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  3. I think they feel threatened by women. I dont want to go into all women liberation and front but since women these days are outshining many guys in both home as well as office front they dont take that well. We should just ignore such guys. The guys who matter will never think like this about us or any independent woman this way.

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    1. Agree, they are threatened. Outshining or not, success is no way dependant on gender, or on the martial status.

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  4. Jenny, I know what you mean, in fact, when single women climb higher - the commonly held belief is that well, she does not have a family or other concerns, so she can afford to be a fanatic when it comes to work. Now that is the charitable part - the uncharitable side is..the question - Ohhh is her boss really 'fond' of her? and if you say I'm sure considering she's a woman, and pat comes the reply..These days you don't know and anyways chamchas ka bol-bala hai!! Its a skewed world and like you said the only way is to let criticism roll off your back like water off a duck's!!

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    1. Oh yes, people would throw any kind of sh*t at you, to scar your success. boss 'fond' of her and she uses her 'ways' and all crap will go on. Those are best kept at bay.

      And this thing about single women being carefree irks me to no end. wth, just because you have a husband to take care of and kids to look after, doesn't mean single women have nothing other than work and no family life. Define family life?

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  5. No dearth of people despite being educated cannot get over a colonial mentality and faulty up bringing! I have seen married women holding high positions and doing more justice to family and children than the so called 'stay at home' contribute! We are in transition so just let this one pass, Jenny:)

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    1. Thank you Rahulji. I have cooled down, and you are right, I would pass this one.

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  6. First of all congrats for getting promoted. And secondly, even if u did manage to shut him up there's nothing we can do to change the mindset of these weirdos!! Its sad that ppl still think lowly of a woman who is single and independent. I guess these men feel intimidated by powerful women and that's why the knee jerk reaction.

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    1. Thank you Ria. You are right, I can just pour out here, but he would think like that again. Its sad though!

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  7. Congrats to 3 of you for your well deserved promotion. And believe me the comment from friend was not because he felt that promotion was not deserved or because of anything like 'Male Dominance' in his mind. But I totally agree with your point that "Marriage" is personal thing and nobody should suggest who to marry and when to marry.
    And as you said "Ignore" these things and enjoy the promotion.
    You gals worked hard and got the Promotion. A truly well deserved promotion!! Congrats :)

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    1. Thank you CK. I agree people should not comment about someone's marital status. But my question is, how is it that we are talking about marriage when I am talking about promotion? Where is the link? Means, the more you earn, the less are chances of getting a good guy? How does that work?

      and thanks you are too sweet. Not sure how hard we worked though :-P

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  8. OMG! People can be so sick and disgusted. They cant see others happy. They are just insecure and let others down. Should not bother about them.

    love
    http://www.meghasarin.blogspot.com

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    1. Tell me about it! Connecting marriage to promotion. WEIRDEST LINK EVER!

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  9. But a progressive attitude has no correlation to your education, your MNC job or your Cosmopolitan upbringing!

    Such men deserve contempt.

    And congratulations on your promotion :)

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    1. Well in my case, Upbringing and education did play a role in how I think and react to situations. Agreed, they do. And Thank you for the wishes.

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  10. oooops .. but then we have seen what educated people do , as shown in the two episodes of SMJ. what good they are doing for the nation. So I will say its expected..

    Education doesnot mean a person is sensible, they might has mugged up the book and got good grades, maybe when you next meet this guy and since he is a friend you can have a chat with him..

    Congrats on the protion PARTY TImeeeeeeee.. and oh my god what will you do now .. how will do this and that .. you have got promoted .. he he he he he :) sorry i jsut had ot say it ..

    Bikram's

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    1. Education also includes what you have learnt growing up, seeing things around you, in your city, workplace, along with your degree. It surely has shaped how I think about things.

      Thank you Bikram. Party is due, and will have that someday when you are in India :-)
      hahahaha, who is thinking about on how I would do 'this and that' :-P

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  11. All we can do is Jus ignore:) Congrats for your promotion:)...

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    1. Thank you Khush. Yes that's we ought to do!

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  12. Hey congrats on getting promoted, hope you reach higher in future. You will find these kind of people everywhere in every company. You know recently I read an article in newspaper where it said that these days women are concentrating more on their careers and everything else is secondary, including marriage.

    We are too judgemental about things, especially about others. If that person is happy doing what he or she wants to do, just let it be. I have no respect for that guy who cannot respect the other person. I guess that guy didn't spoil your promotion party on that day because of his narrow thinking. God Bless...:)

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    1. Thank you Prashanth. How have you been? I agree with you. Its is indeed so easy to judge isn't it.
      No success party yet, but I have forgotten about it :-) But I think, I really had to get it out! Thank you again so much!

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    2. You are welcome. I am doing good Jenny, thank you. How are you doing...?? :)

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    3. I am doing good. You didnot update your post for long, so just wondered where you have been. Nice to see an update now :-)

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    4. I had exams so could not update my blogs, was raring to update as soon as my exams got over...:)

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  13. What rubbish? Some men are stupid. I don't take them seriously. His questions were as silly as his thoughts. Why bother? Anyways, I am lil angry, why you removed 'Love, Heartbreak but Freedom'? It is such a mind blowing poem.

    Though, I am little annoyed with you but still as you are promoted, I will congratulate you. But don't delete your poems in future, the poet in me gets really angry.

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    1. Thank you for both Saru. To tell you honestly, I felt it was a very silly poem. Your comment is soo motivating, so I will repost it. Thank you again so much Saru :-)

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  14. see that's the prob...education is just over-rated...some people are just born deficient of sense no matter what their brain power is...

    congrats on your promotion :) :)

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    1. Rightly put! Bachpan se problem hain, what to do!

      and thank you so much. Awaiting updates on your page :-)

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  15. Hey Congratulations for the promotion dear:) And its isn't so easy to uproot these stuffs from society and people's brain.. Glad to land on your blog.. *hugs*

    P.S: Following you now:)

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    1. triple thank you for your wishes, for visiting the blog and for following. yaay yippee :-)

      Moving onto your space now!!!

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  16. Hi, Nice post Jenny. You have hit the right chord. We are a country of literates who love to call themselves educated. Keep up the good work.

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    1. Thank you for your visit and comment Ira. Couldnot agree more! well said. It is indeed a sad state of affairs.

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  17. Very sad, the way people assume that educated women "lose value" in the marriage market. So much for "India Shining" :/

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    1. True! India shining is all nonsense!

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  18. I Know, SOme people really can't take it to see someone outdo them. Specially if it is a Woman. If we need to go up the ladder, we should know what to pay heed to and what to ignore.

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    1. Agree totally Ashwini. I was pretty upset but you have to ignore such men, isn't it!

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  19. I believe Indian culture is going through a transition and hence we will two people with drastically different views. And this will go on for 2 more generations atleast (My personal belief).

    And congratulations on the promotion! All the best :)

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    1. hmm.. if that is the case, then there are going to be more of these sitatuions which we have to face. Sad!

      Thanks Binu :-)

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    My website ; Lisa Olson Scammer

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